Have you ever noticed how people with commitment issues get offended when you say they have commitment issues?

While ironic, I think their feelings are valid – not because they don’t want commitment, but because they’ve forgotten how to do it or why it even matters in the first place.

I’ve begun calling this the Anti-Commitment Era.

And while this easily applies to romantic relationships, I believe it transcends far beyond that today – into careers, hobbies, and even the way we spend our free time.

If you or someone you know struggles with commitment in some capacity, this article is for you.

Keeping Doors Half-Open: Yer not a wizard, Harry
We’ve become experts at keeping doors half-open.
We crave options more than outcomes.

Ghosting, quitting, scrolling – they’re all symptoms of the same thing: the fear of choosing wrong.

Maybe it’s not that we don’t want to commit – maybe we’re just exhausted by choice. Every day, we make hundreds of micro-decisions: what to wear, what to watch, where to go, what to eat, what to post, what to believe.

Commitment feels heavy when everything else moves so fast.

But I’d argue the “anti-commitment” mindset isn’t laziness – it’s self-defense. We’ve watched plans fall apart, jobs dissolve, and relationships crack under pressure. So we adapt. We stay flexible.

But in doing so, we forget that commitment, while risky, is also where true and life-fulfilling purpose lives.

The Illusion of Endless Options
Here’s the truth: the “options” we think we have? Most of them aren’t real. They’re figments of imagination – “what ifs” whispered into thin air.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side – but it can certainly be greener where you choose to water it.

Social media plays a dominant role in this Anti-Commitment Era because it gives us the illusion of endless options. It feeds us highlight reels, convincing us there’s always something – or someone – better just a scroll away.

We open the apps out of boredom or loneliness, and before we know it, we’re subconsciously comparing our reality to someone else’s filter. We start believing that what we have isn’t enough. That we aren’t happy. That we have endless choices.

But the more we chase these maybes, the less content we become with what’s right in front of us.

We let go of something good too soon, convinced there’s something better out there – only to find ourselves stuck in the same loop, wondering why “it never works out”.

The “Never Settle” Lie
Over the years, “never settle” became our rallying cry – but I think we’ve taken it too far.

It’s one thing to not settle for less than you deserve. It’s another to walk away the moment something requires effort.

Of course, there are exceptions – no one should stay in a bad situation. But if you have something good, and you know it’s good, why are you still searching for more?

Because you’ve bought the lie that social media sells.
Like a monster, it feeds on your weak spots:
insecurity, loneliness, pride, ego.

But here’s the thing:
If you’re always chasing the next best thing, you’ll never hold onto anything long enough for it to become something great.

At some point, you have to decide when good enough will finally be enough – and choose to stay long enough to see it become something greater.

We see it everywhere – people leaving jobs after six months, ghosting dates after one minor red flag, abandoning hobbies the moment they stop being the perfect escape.

What Commitment Reveals
A friend recently told me that some people today see making a relationships “official” as being just as serious as marriage.

And while it’s good to take relationships seriously, isn’t that the whole point of dating – to see if something has long-term potential?

Have we become so afraid of being wrong about someone that we won’t even take the chance to find out?

The problem is, when you stay in the “talking” or “just seeing where it goes” phase for too long, it usually ends up going absolutely nowhere because growth stops. Someone always checks out. Someone always feels unchosen.

It’s like expecting a raise at work before you’ve shown your commitment. Why would a company invest in you if you haven’t shown up fully for the mission first? Or if they know you’re constantly checking the job board for other opportunities, ready to jump ship at the possibility of the next best thing?

The same goes for people. No one will keep investing in something that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. No one will continue dedicating themselves to a person who is always browsing for more.

Good things take time – and time takes commitment.

The Fear Behind It All
Maybe what we fear isn’t commitment itself – maybe we fear what commitment reveals.

To commit is to say, I’m here.
And risk being wrong.

But at some point, that risk must be conquered by a stronger desire – for peace, harmony, and joy.

Think about it: if Einstein, Edison, Shakespeare, or the Wright Brothers had given up after a few failed attempts, history would look very different.

They were wrong many times before they were right. But they kept going. They closed doors on what didn’t work and stayed committed to what might.

They stayed long enough to see it through.

Commitment + Closing Doors
Commitment alone isn’t enough. Commitment and closing doors on the things – or people – you’ve chosen not to pursue is what gives your decisions real power.

You can’t be committed to someone while keeping escape routes open. You can’t be committed to your craft while constantly exploring alternatives. You can’t be committed to a goal while holding onto the “what ifs”.

The formula is simple:
Commitment + Closing Doors.

Something to Ponder:
When I started writing this article, I called it The Anti-Commitment Generation. But as I finished, I realized something hopeful – maybe this is just an era. Maybe it’s something we’ll grow out of, once we remember that peace doesn’t come from keeping every door open, but from having the courage to close the ones we know we don’t want to walk through.

Something to Try:
If you find yourself hesitating to commit – to people, plans, or passions – take note of just one thing this week you want to show up for.

Just one.

Then keep the door open long enough to see what happens.